I jumped, hair first, off a cliff. Sometimes the only way to break a funk is to just jump into the scary wild. I’m anxious all the time, worried over my family, my dreams, my ability to lead or inspire. I pile worries onto myself like breathing and it needs to stop.
I am more than what I do, or what I can or cannot accomplish. I am more than my wins or struggles. Every day is a block I’m building in this new life for myself and my family. Of course some of those blocks will not be as strong but I will reinforce and keep building.
I have been thinking about change a lot and idly wondering what I could do. I want more out of life. Every growth, every accomplishment, every dream fulfilled makes me hunger for more. It’s hard to wait for the things you want, to have to build days upon days to see a return. I often look forward into the distance imagining the life I want for myself and my family. The fear comes when I start to believe that I cannot achieve those things.
I decided to chop the hair off on a whim, I needed new and I was tired of the weight of it. I have even read that it’s been proven women only do major changes to their hair when there is a psychological reason. (This was a brief article about a research paper but if you want to learn more feel free to search.) I cannot hold on to the weight anymore. I will not be undone by fear or anxiety. I am so much more.
I don’t know if my husband will ever understand how freeing something like this can be, but he was supportive. My hairdresser was a dream. It was a fantastic feeling to be looked at as a coach instead of the way I used to be seen as the fat girl with dreams too big. I want you to hear me say that my dreams may be big but they are not too big for me to achieve them. I will grow, become stronger, and I will be big enough for even bigger dreams. Go ahead and tell me I can’t, you just watch me.