Thursday Confessional: Fattest Girl At The Gym

Weekly confessions on my journey

Weekly confessions on my journey

I was the fat girl at the gym. I was even the fat girl at my Class Certification training. I was surrounded by personal trainers and class instructors. I was the rare one that was starting with Insanity. Had I seen the room before I signed up I might have given into intimidation or fear, allowed myself to wait until I was fitter, missed out on a life changing opportunity.

Not one person treated me poorly or differently because my fitness level wasn’t the same as theirs. The amazing thing about being surrounded by trainers and fitness instructors was that not only had they been there, but so had their clients. They didn’t discourage me or look down on me. What did we focus on? Universally we were all there to train and grow.

I was pushed to my limits, ready to lay down and die any number of times. My master trainer was tough, absolutely insane, and agile. She made the moves look easy and leading a class look simple. She clearly deserved the title of Master. But she like everyone in the class was inclusive and wanted us to work at our own best.

Fitness isn’t about besting others, it’s about besting you. Committing to yourself and continually keeping that promise. On learning to change yourself and habits and embrace new. You go through an arduous journey during your weight loss. You become someone new along the way.

The first day I decided to join a gym and commit to me, I left in tears. There were these crossfit guys that used to glare me down and laugh when I tried to run. I was in awful shape and couldn’t even run for a minute. At the time almost any of the exercise moves I now teach were impossible for me to complete. I absolutely was the fattest girl at the gym but I was there and I was determined.

Those gym rats weren’t superior to me. No one has the right to make you feel small or inferior. One of the many changes that have happened in me is that I am supremely confident in me. I know myself now in ways that I was afraid to before. I may not be ripped, I still look like a mom, but I work hard. Just because my journey is different doesn’t mean it’s less.

You can’t live your life in fear of what others will think of you. The truth is that you can’t control the thoughts of others. Realistically if you’re the largest person at the gym, they’ll think “way to go” and “get some.” The kind of people that scoff at you aren’t worth your time. I promise even if I get abs and ripped I won’t have time for “that” guy.

Surround yourself in the kind of people that uplift and inspire you. Those that share your journey or inspire you to continue. There are going to be plenty of people that think they’re doing you a favor by making it harder, drop them if you can. This life is yours and your choices and decisions belong only to you. There will always be someone fitter than you at the gym but if you start today, tomorrow you will be fitter than you are right now.

About Say Hawk

I am a mother of two, wife of over ten years. I am an advocate for my special needs son and a cheerleader for my family and friends. I don't believe in can't and desire to help everyone find a way to fight their N-E-V-E-R-S.
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