M Is For Mother Not Martyr

Stand for Motherhood

Stand for Motherhood

There are plenty of sources to tell you that you’re not perfect. That you should have a cleaner home, spend more time with your kids, lean in at work… There is always more that you should be doing. You’re always last on the list. You wake up early and go to bed late. You’re the one that hears the cries in the middle of the night.

It seems like there is never a break for mom. You work hard all day and night. Whether you stay at home or work you’re balancing a long list of unreasonable expectations. You carry the guilt of those expectations. You are overwhelmed, stressed, and maybe even lost. You are a mother first and a person last. Do you no longer exist outside of motherhood?

I will never understand this cult of martyrdom. You are a person, you have value, you are more than just a mother. It is not selfish to take care of yourself, in fact it will help you in every facet of your life. The chores will keep, the kids are loved, you can sleep. We propagate these rules for perfection and attack every woman for any decision she makes.

No matter how hard you work you’re wrong because you should be with your children. If you stay home with your children you’re a worthless bon bon eater that is just relaxing all day. Not one of those stereotypes or expectations are true or realistic. What you feed your kids, what you let them play with, how quickly they learn are all up for competition and debate.

It takes a village to raise a child. We no longer band together as women and mothers. We do not stand for ourselves. Instead we allow ourselves to bicker and fight over every decision. If there is no one there ready to attack, you allow yourself an unnecessary amount of guilt over your imperfections.

Just Stop! Take it from a perfectionist, no one is perfect. If you love your children, try your best, there is no reason to fight. Let go of the people in your life that are ready to attack. Hold on to the women in your life that inspire and encourage you. Make friends with others that understand your struggles and don’t add to them.

Get out of the house. Make time for you. Exercise early and have some wine at night. Try and find some balance. You are valuable. You are a person. You are also a mother. Before you get lost in the holidays and the stress of even more tasks, find some time for you. Take November to find your balance. Join this perfectionist in learning to live with imperfection.
NaBloPoMo November 2014

About Say Hawk

I am a mother of two, wife of over ten years. I am an advocate for my special needs son and a cheerleader for my family and friends. I don't believe in can't and desire to help everyone find a way to fight their N-E-V-E-R-S.
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6 Responses to M Is For Mother Not Martyr

  1. tabethawells says:

    True across the board. Things go better when women support each other! I’m not a mom, but I’m all for it.

    Like

  2. Snoskred says:

    Hey there, I found you via the NaBloPoMo blogroll.

    As part of NaBloPoMo I try to comment on as many participating blogs as I can, and I add participating blogs to my feed reader.

    So I’m just dropping by to let you know I’ve added your blog to my feedreader, I’m reading you loud and clear, I have a link up going at my place so my readers can find participating blogs which you are more than welcome to add your blog link to.

    Looking forward to seeing your posts, and you’ll likely see me drop by again during November.

    Happy NaBloPoMo to you!
    Snoskred
    http://www.snoskred.org

    Liked by 1 person

    • Say Hawk says:

      I went to a few blogs for the same reason. I’m also doing NaNoWriMo so it’s hard to find the time. Thanks for stopping by and I’ll be sure to check out your page.

      Like

  3. Lauren says:

    Your words about making friends with people who will understand your struggles and not add to them is sage advise, and common sense at that (yet I don’t follow it, lol). everyone deserves time and attention for themselves, and I wish more mothers felt that way. you deserve it.

    Like

  4. aisha323 says:

    Love this and it could not be more timely, it’s been on my mind a lot! Mom guilt is the devil and the pressure can be suffocating. Thank you for bringing this up!

    Like

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